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July 31, 2020

Covidiocy and coronation: 2020 words of the year

Covidiocy and coronation, coined by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) and by the Royal League of Nations (RLN), respectively, have shared the title for words of the year for 2020. Scientists at NIH were surprised that a medical diagnosis would become the word by which 2020 would be remembered. Fellows at RLN were also astonished that coronation would be chosen for the prestigious award.

The distinguished selection panel opined that covidiocy finally explained what millions of people had been suffering from, and what even more millions could not understand. NIH defined covidiocy as a state of idiocy associated with the Covid-19 virus. This condition manifests itself in different groups of people:

  1. Those who don’t know they need to wear masks: These are people who have recently landed on Planet Earth and walk around my neighborhood in Miami.
  2. Those who oppose to wear masks: These include members of Congress and the White House who claim that wearing masks is tantamount to the destruction of their masculinity and personal liberties. They claim that it is not cool for greeting dictators. Some members of congress have even asserted that wearing masks causes Covid-19.
  3. Those who pretend to wear masks: Ambivalent types who have an anxious-avoidant form of attachment disorder and project their hesitation towards transitional objects. They are also known to pick their nose vigorously. They also like to smell their own farts.
  4. Those who kill their parents and grandparents by not wearing a mask: People in a particular age group known for their inability to process information disseminated by people in another age group through seventy three trillion messages in print, audio and visual form. They claim that they only learn through tactile methods, which is why they cannot resist the urge to go out and touch other people, only to come home and spread the virus to their abuelita.
  5. Those who attend corona parties: Selected members of group 4 who have been lobotomized.
  6. Those who ask Dr. Fauci why he thinks the President disagrees with him:  This type of covidiocy afflicts journalists who are bent on asking Dr. Fauci stupid questions.
  7. Those who keep saying “How can this be possible in the greatest nation on earth”: Subtype of group 6 above.
  8. Those who believe in hydroxychloroquine
  9. Those who believe in drinking Clorox
  10. Those who believe the virus is under control and that it will disappear: So fast, the world has never seen anything like it before.

Coronation has been defined by the RLN as a country with the following attributes:

  1. Supposedly greatest nation in the world with the most corona and covidiocy cases on the planet.
  2. Nation with only 4 percent of the world population and 25 percent of all corona cases.
  3. Nation where American exceptionalism used to refer to positive qualities.
  4. Nation whose American exceptionalism now refers to collective covidiocy the likes of which the world has never seen before.
  5. Nation with the most cases of people who had a lobotomy who claim that theirs is the greatest nation in the world.

Isaac Prilleltensky is an award-winning academic and humor writer. His latest books, The Laughing Guide to Change, and The Laughing Guide to a Better Life, co-authored with Ora Prilleltensky, combine humor with science.

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