Boehner and Cantor offered asylum in North KoreaOctober 3, 2013
Preventing Syria from becoming the new AfghanIraqOctober 10, 2013
Historians around the country are trying to find precedents to the Cruzade that Boehnerictus is fighting against his own country. According to Professor Newt Rall from Princeton University, all the previous crusades were against other peoples and other countries. This Cruzade, claimed Newt Rall, “is unlike anything we’ve seen in the last thousand years.”
But historians are not the only ones scratching their heads. Psychologists and psychiatrists met today to explore the collective memory loss experienced by Boehnerictus and his Cruzaders. Moderate members of the GOP convened a panel on the inability of their colleagues to remember that they lost the election in which Obamacare was fought. Worried that their colleagues might have also forgotten that slavery was abolished, the moderate Republicans invited behavioral scientists to help them in their quest to cure the Cruzaders and their Cantors.
Moderate Republicans are concerned that the people will accuse them of being passive bystanders while their fanatic colleagues destroy the country. Some of the judicious GOP members were seen consulting with psychologists after the panel.
Parenting experts are also trying to help moderate Republicans. Dr. Nev Ermind, appearing in The Today Show, claimed that the Cruzade is typical of two year olds and it will pass when they reach the maturity characteristic of three year olds.