Dates to Remember in 2019!!
Dear Friends and Family,
We wish you a happy and healthy new year. To do that, we recommend that you love each other without smothering one another. We suggest that you work hard but that you leave some time to spend with one another, but not so much that you get on each other’s nerves.
If all the festivities of the New Year become too stressful, try Zen meditation, which is also good for dealing with all the people you invited to your party. If Zen meditation is not your thing, try becoming vegan, like us. Your new diet will make dealing with your relatives look really easy.
To cope with the aftermath of all the cooking and cleaning and eating, we suggest you give your nerves and your stomach a vacation until Valentine’s Day, at which point you can have some chocolate to forget that
*** TRIGGER WARNING: NOT SO SUBTLE POLITICAL MESSAGE ***
Trump is still president.
But do not despair, because the Mueller report will come out on, drum roll please, President’s day, February 18, 2019. If you are a Trump enabler, do not despair either. March 6th is Ash Wednesday and you will have lots of time to express sorrow for your sins. For those of us who are Jewish, by Purim (March 21st) we’ll be ready to celebrate the Mueller report in orange jump suites with orange wigs.
By tax day (April 15th) Mueller will release you know whose taxes, just in time for Good Friday, when the Trump family will have a lot to think about. On Cinco de Mayo the wall will finally come down, and by July 4th we will regain our democracy.
By the time Yom Kippur rolls around we will be ready to repent for all the schadenfreude that we enjoyed during the year. The Kushner family will have much more repenting to do than the rest of us. During thanksgiving we will express our gratitude to Robert Mueller and will be so elated that we will give the economy a huge boost on Black Friday. There will be much to celebrate by Kwanzaa. The year will end with the miracle of Chanukah: Michelle Obama will announce her campaign to run for President in 2020.
WAIT, DON’T GO AWAY YET
On MARCH 13TH, 2019, THE DAY OF MODESTY, our new books are coming out!!!!! The Laughing Guide to Change and The Laughing Guide to a Better Life complete the Laughing Guides Trilogy. We are super excited and wanted to share the news with you. You’d be happy to know that writing these books about happiness and well-being nearly destroyed our marriage, but we survived the ordeal stronger and happier!
WAIT, ONE MORE THING
If you’ve enjoyed our good wishes, share them with your 6799 friends on social media.
VERY LAST THING, PROMISE
If you want to help two persecuted, poor authors, with no marketing budget, a huge mortgage, student loans, exorbitant condo fees, and ridiculous property taxes, buy multiple copies of The Laughing Guide to Change and The Laughing Guide to a Better Life. (You can order them now on Amazon). They make for great Christmas, Hanukkah, Valentine, and Impeachment Day gifts. Depending on your political affiliation, you can also send multiple copies to Trump or Mueller.
Wishing you a life full of love and laughter in 2019!
Isaac and Ora Prilleltensky
Isaac Prilleltensky is an award-winning academic and humor writer. His latest books, The Laughing Guide to Change, and The Laughing Guide to a Better Life, co-authored with Ora Prilleltensky, combine humor with science.