First: On all other nights, we eat leavened foods and matzoh. Why, on this night, only matzoh?
Because there is a shortage of toilet paper, and matzoh will give you such constipation that you will not need toilet paper for a month.
Second: On all other nights, we don’t dip even once. Why, on this night, do we dip twice?
Because Doctor Fauci said that we must dip everything twice, including our food, feet, and hands, in Clorox, for 20 seconds, before we eat, drink, or touch our face.
Third: On all other nights, we eat all vegetables. Why, on this night, bitter herbs?
Because Fox News believes they will cure corona.
Fourth: On all other nights, we eat either sitting upright or reclining. Why, on this night, do we all recline?
To remind us of the days when we had toilet paper.
Isaac Prilleltensky is an award-winning academic and humor writer. His latest books, The Laughing Guide to Change, and The Laughing Guide to a Better Life, co-authored with Ora Prilleltensky, combine humor with science.