“But you told me that it would last longer than the state of the union address,” President Trump was heard yelling from the oval office. The President was accusing Ben Carson, his neurosurgeon friend, of false promises regarding a brain transplant performed on the President hours before his state of the union address earlier this week. The full text of the conversation between the two men was obtained through a wiretap ordered by President Obama. Trump’s associates were all very upset with Carson, who promised them that the new brain was equipped with the latest emotional self-regulation technology. “Ben, in the future, make sure you get a Russian brain. Talk to Kislyak. Jeff Sessions has him on speed dial” Jared Kushner was heard saying.